Parent Alert: Teen Mode Activated

A Parent’s Survival Guide (Results Not Guaranteed)

Welcome to the teen years a chaotic, hilarious, emotional rollercoaster where your once-sweet child morphs into a part-time roommate who grunts for food. If you’re wondering how to survive without completely losing your mind (or your Wi-Fi password), you’re in the right place.

Here are 10 survival tips every parent needs, with a mix of humor, sarcasm, love, and brutal honesty:

Brace yourself—your sweet baby is about to become a part-time roommate who grunts for food.
Teenage communication is an art form. Don’t expect full sentences; expect fridge raids and headphone shrugs. Humor is your armor.

2. Learn to knock. It’s not just polite it’s a legal requirement in Teen Nation.
You’re not just a parent anymore, you’re a guest in their emotional hotel room. Knock, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be allowed in.

3. Pick your battles. Blue hair? Not worth it. Vaping? Worth the drama.
Focus on what really matters. Hair grows out. Habits grow roots.

4. They will roll their eyes so hard it might cause a breeze. Don’t take it personally.
You’re not lame. You’re just parenting. Eye-rolls are basically their love language.

5. Be the calm in their chaos – even when they’re yelling about how you ruined their life by asking how school was.
Stay steady. They need your emotional Wi-Fi more than they admit.

6. You’re no longer cool. That’s OK. You’re not here to be cool. You’re here to be solid.
Let go of being liked and focus on being reliable. Teens don’t need a best friend – they need a steady anchor.

7. Wi-Fi is currency. Use it wisely.
Want respect? Withhold the Wi-Fi. But use your power for good, not evil.

8. Say yes to the little things so they trust you when you say no to the big ones.
Negotiation is everything. Give them space on the small stuff, and they’re more likely to listen when it really counts.

9. Remember: they still need you even when they pretend they don’t. Especially then.
That slammed door isn’t a rejection. It’s a challenge. Stay close.

10. Survive the mood swings with snacks, memes, and the occasional deep breath in a locked bathroom.


Parenting teens is a marathon, not a sprint. Hydrate. Laugh. Hide when necessary. Teenage years are wild, weird, and wonderful. I’m living proof you don’t just survive, you evolve. With one 18 year old, a 14 year old, and a tween charging up the ranks, I’ve felt the full range: the pride, the worry, joy, and the never ending trail of empty cupboards..

It’s OK to mess up, laugh at the chaos, and occasionally scream into a cushion. Just keep showing up. You’re doing better than you think—and you’re definitely not alone.

Click here to follow me on Instagram: it’s cheaper than therapy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *