Raising Three Daughters at Three Totally Different Speeds
Parenting isn’t one job. Sometimes, it’s three. Right now, I’m the mum of an 18-year-old university student, a 14-year-old high schooler, and an 11-year-old tween still halfway between Barbies and iPads.
It’s like living in three different decades all at once. Three girls. Three stages. One very tired (and slightly overwhelmed) parent.
Almost Grown (18 and Away at University)
She’s officially flown the nest, living in university halls, navigating lectures, laundry, and late-night instant noodles like a seasoned pro (or so she claims).
I’m so proud of the young woman she’s becoming… and also low-key stalking her on Life360 to make sure she’s back in her flat by midnight. Not that I don’t trust her — I just like knowing she’s safe.
She messages me when she needs something important… or when she’s seen a TikTok that reminded her of me. Her texts are usually a mix of “How do I unclog a shower drain?” and “Do I need to defrost chicken first?”
She’s almost grown – figuring it out, one laundry cycle and dodgy flatmate at a time. And even though she’s not physically here, she’s still very much part of the daily chaos.
Kinda Grown (14 and Deep in Teen Mode)
This one’s got her learner’s permit and a playlist full of songs I don’t understand – and apparently, I’m absolutely not allowed to sing along with them.
She’s navigating secondary school with a sharp wit, a strong will, and more wisdom than most adults I know. The last few years haven’t been easy for her, she’s walked through some tough stuff, and she still lives with a level of anxiety that I wish I could take away with a hug or a magic wand.
But she shows up. Every day. Even when it’s hard. And that kind of quiet courage is something I deeply admire.
She’s in the middle of the great teenage balancing act: craving independence, testing boundaries, needing space, but also needing reassurance. She’ll throw a side-eye one minute and ask for a cuddle the next.
Teenagers are wild, but they’re also wildly resilient. She teaches me that all the time.
Not Even Close (11 and in the Tween Zone)
Ah, the youngest – or as her sisters like to call her, “The Spoiled One.”
And… they might have a point.
It’s not that she gets everything she wants, it’s just that by the time you’re parenting your third child, you’re more tired, more seasoned, and a little softer around the edges. You start picking your battles, and sometimes, you just say yes because it’s easier. Or because you know deep down, these “firsts” are also your lasts.
The last first day of primary school.
The last time someone needs help tying their shoes.
The last tiny hand reaching for yours when walking around the shops.
She’s sassy, clever, hilarious, and the most confident of the bunch. A total daredevil, the kind of kid who climbs the tree before thinking about how to get down. She doesn’t show her emotions as openly as her sisters, she’ll joke through a meltdown and hide behind a smirk when she’s actually hurt. But I see her. I know when she needs holding, even if she doesn’t ask.
She’s a little firecracker, the kind of energy that keeps this whole family on its toes. And while she may drive her sisters crazy and test every one of my parenting limits… she’s also the heartbeat of our home.
Three Daughters. Three Speeds. One Heart.
Sometimes I feel like I need three versions of myself to keep up.
One who can text “You got this!” to my university kid.
One who can decipher the emotional code of a 14-year-old.
And one who can still do silly voices at bedtime.
Our house (and group chat) is full of loud opinions, laughter, and arguments about what to watch on Netflix. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
What I’ve Learned
Raising kids this far apart in age is wild, but it’s also wonderful.
It’s taught me patience, flexibility. It’s a full-time job with three bosses, all with different snack preferences and emotional deadlines. It’s also taught me that the same heart can stretch across every stage of growing up.
So yes: 18-14-11.
Almost grown. Kinda grown. Not even close.
All of them growing.
All of them mine.
And me? Just holding it together with coffee, sarcasm, and the occasional Life360 refresh.